belonging, Musings, The Seeker

belonging

March 30, 2010

“That evening, as I took some time to relax and contemplate, I had an almost mystical experience. Gazing out at the expanse of water and the forested hills, a sense of destiny seemed to envelop me.  This was where I belonged.” – Esther S. Keyser (Algonquin Park’s first female guide)

 

toteminlondonWhen I was at the British Museum in London a few months ago I took this picture because I knew what the totem pole must feel like: very far away from Canada.  Most of the time I am completely comfortable here, in love with England’s people and history, and able to get by without too much fuss.  Other times I feel desperate for home.

A friend of mine came over for lunch today. She is moving back to her home country after several years here.  When I asked her a little while ago why she wanted to go home now she simply shrugged her shoulders and said, “It’s time.”  It made me nervous because I knew what she meant.  At some point your roots want to recognize the soil again.

Money and jobs and life keep us here for now.  It was easier to move when all I needed was a bag and a visa. Husbands and careers take up a lot more room in the suitcase.  Most of the time I am happy with the life we have created here, but sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball that could tell me when and if I will ever call North America home again. I know it is where I belong.

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  • jane aka faerian March 30, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    when you know where home is you will always be called back… just know that it’s safe to listen to that call

  • Colleen March 30, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    I’m sure it will happen one day girl! Hopefully sooner than later…:o) Enjoy your adventure over there across the pond. Life back here in Canada is likely not as amazing as you dream it would be anyway. Come home to visit soon though!!!! There’s some sort of camp birthday thing this summer….

  • jamie March 30, 2010 at 10:15 pm

    I’m imagining you looking at that totem pole and me looking at the big one at the ROM, knowing that somehow we’re connected, that energetically we’re musing together, Canadians both, connected across the ocean with smiles and hugs and love. Sending you vibes of home, Jamie

  • Kerstin March 31, 2010 at 12:35 am

    As you know I grew up in Germany and although I love going back there for visits I have never had the urge to move back to live there again. England, however, where I lived for 15 years is another story. That’s what I consider my heart home and I still miss it dearly. The US, where I am now because of my husband, is the place that takes most getting used to. I dream of one day being able to divide my time between the US and Canada, maybe that will be your destiny, too? Sending you a big hug from across the big pond xo

  • Sam Brightwell April 2, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    Being transplanted gives you a different perspective on life, home, belonging, doesn’t it? Living on the edge, knowing the call will come from within one day to return to home soil. How do you cope with homesickness and feeling a little alien at times? I don’t know. I’m sending you hugs today. And wondering about it all myself, as I’m thinking of leaving England to go back to Australia (having been transplanted there and back again in my childhood). But like you, now it’s not just me and a backpack, it’s me plus my partner and my little boy, and the decision is so much harder to make.

  • adesi April 11, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    no sundayscribbling prompt today?

    hope all is well!

  • Shireen April 19, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    hello megg,
    i know just what you mean. i moved to london from canada with just a suitcase and a british passport. 8 years later i find myself (in switzerland, moving back to london in two weeks) with a husband and a beautiful baby. i often wonder where home is….and am i there already or will i eventually move back there?
    warm wishes from a fellow canadian in the uk
    x