Brave, emotions

Trusting Darkness

January 13, 2010

“How might your life be different if you could trust your darkness… could trust your own darkness?”- Judith Duerk

 

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

I say I am sorry more than any other feeling I am capable of.  I say it when I bump into people or when I can’t hear them properly. I say it when I feel like I am being too much or too little.  I say it when I feel like in some way I have to apologize for being just where I am in the universe.

“I’m sorry for telling you something that you might not like to hear.  I am sorry for showing you that my life is not the perfect picture it seems from the outside. I am sorry for letting my guard slip and showing you that underneath it all I am imperfect and splendidly human.  I am sorry for showing the fragility of who I am.  I am sorry for dumping it on you.  I am sorry for being inconvenient.  I am sorry that I am feeling tired/ irritable/ hormonal/ depleted/ cranky/ sad/ hungry/ excitable/ messy.  I am sorry that me being in this place at this time is making you in any way uncomfortable.”

We say it, and sadly we mean it. We apologize for being ourselves.

But what if we weren’t sorry?  What if we allowed ourselves to be just what we we were in every given moment?  What if we stood in the middle of our lives and let ourselves be as much or as little or as emotional or as full or as empty or as blue or as ridiculous as we needed to be?

What if we stopped apologizing for being who we are?

Imagine who we would then be allowed to be.

We’d be perfect.

(P.S. Thank you so much for all of your lovely supportive comments on my last post.  We are okay.  The house still smells terrible, so if you have any wonderful ideas or special scented candles you can recommend, send it this way!!)

You Might Also Like

  • faerwillow January 13, 2010 at 7:37 pm

    ~love…i say it all the time…sometimes i say it to my husband and he says back…why are you saying sorry? wonderfully said….”What if we stopped apologizing for being who we are? Imagine who we would then be allowed to be.” brightest blessings~

  • darlene January 13, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    i love this, love love love this. i say ‘i’m sorry …’ far too often … xo

  • Mel January 13, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    Yes, I say sorry too often for no reason whatsoever. We should start the stop saying sorry revolution…

    Great post, as always

    (glad you are ok)

  • michele January 13, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    oh, this is me all the way! sorry, sorry, sorry. I need to stop! Thanks for the reminder!

    P.S. have you tried incense? Don’t laugh … it works like magic – try *champaka* scent, it is lovely.

  • Sarah Ann January 14, 2010 at 4:27 am

    This is so apt! This is so me! What if? What if we all just let go…..

    kinda scary huh?
    at least for me.

  • Honey January 14, 2010 at 5:27 am

    Beautifully put Megg. I used to skip like a record I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. without even thinking, but then I trained myself to say “Pardon me” instead whenever I’d bump into someone. Somehow it broke the habit and now I only say I’m sorry when I truly am apologetic.

  • Rochelle January 14, 2010 at 7:24 am

    Yes, I must stop saying “sorry, sorry, sorry” as I make my way onto a crowded bus – what am I sorry about? That I have to take the bus to get somewhere? That I brushed against someone? Very silly, and it must stop! Thank you for this. 🙂

  • justjody January 14, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    i’ve always tried to embrace my “darkness”….my motto: it is what it is…my true self…not hurtful….just true….just jody……

  • b January 17, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    I will print this and hang it in a spot close to my heart. I swear to goodness if a policeman shows up at my door I would confess to an ax murder and then say “I’m sorry!” Why do we feel so guilty about just being ourselves? Thank you.

    b

    http://torristravels.blogspot.com/2010/01/wallet-part-ii.html

  • Dora May 3, 2013 at 9:36 am

    thanks for sharing. this is a great reminder to myself, and a great invitation to me being me.