” …hearthkeeping is a means through which a woman puts her self and her house in order.” – Jean Shinoda Bolen, Goddesses in Every Woman
When I wrote two weeks ago about going into the flames, I was fully committed to following the fire wherever it led me.
I should have known better.
Just before I began my research into the connection between women and fire, three different things happened. The first thing was a conversation between my husband and I as I stood in the kitchen, barely containing my rage. Why was I so angry? Because I was cooking.
I hate cooking. I hate doing the dishes. I even hate helping someone else in the kitchen. I have written about this before, but believe me when I say that this is real. When I have to do anything in the kitchen I seethe with resentment. I have been known to burst into frustrated tears over getting breakfast on the plate. Me in the kitchen is not a pretty thing.
So there I was, standing in the kitchen, up to my eyes in gluten free béchamel sauce and stuck-together gluten free lasagne noodles, on the verge of hysterical tears, and my long-suffering husband says, “You know you are going to have to deal with this at some point right?”
Very helpful.
The second thing happened the next morning when I got on the scale and found that even after almost 2 months doing the exercise program Insanity, I hadn’t lost a pound. Not one. (And yes, I realize that lasagne wasn’t the best choice on a diet – but still!)
The third thing happened only a few hours later. I opened the first book in my research pile and met Hestia.
Hestia: the first-born Olympian. Goddess of the hearth. Hestia was rarely personified. Her symbol and her presence was the hearth fire. Hestia is domesticity, home-keeping and hearth-tending. In her book, Goddesses in Every Woman, Jean Shinoda Bolen says, “In order for a house to become a home, Hestia’s presence was required.”
I am about as far removed from Hestia as it is possible to be. If I was to choose an archetype to symbolise me, she would not be the obvious choice. But as I sat there, following my heart to the fire, I knew that I had to start somewhere I hadn’t expected. I knew I had to start with me.
If I want to lose weight, I have to take responsibility for my own nourishment. If I want to find a home, I have to create one. If I want to build a fire, I have to light the match.
Before I can gather women around a fire, I have to take responsibility for my own hearth.
Welcome, Hestia. I’m ready.
xo
Welcome to my world : ) Beyond ready. Doing it. Let’s go. xxx
This is beautifully textured brilliance, Meghan. I abstain from cooking for long periods of time even though I love it and I nourish myself so much better that way than any other. I just got frustrated with being a short-order cook for the two short people who roam my house and dig in my pantry (my husband usually fends for himself). But not caring for myself really means I’m also not caring for them… And that can’t stand. Let’s light that fire, babe!