“How might your life be different if you could trust your darkness… could trust your own darkness?”- Judith Duerk
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
I say I am sorry more than any other feeling I am capable of. I say it when I bump into people or when I can’t hear them properly. I say it when I feel like I am being too much or too little. I say it when I feel like in some way I have to apologize for being just where I am in the universe.
“I’m sorry for telling you something that you might not like to hear. I am sorry for showing you that my life is not the perfect picture it seems from the outside. I am sorry for letting my guard slip and showing you that underneath it all I am imperfect and splendidly human. I am sorry for showing the fragility of who I am. I am sorry for dumping it on you. I am sorry for being inconvenient. I am sorry that I am feeling tired/ irritable/ hormonal/ depleted/ cranky/ sad/ hungry/ excitable/ messy. I am sorry that me being in this place at this time is making you in any way uncomfortable.”
We say it, and sadly we mean it. We apologize for being ourselves.
But what if we weren’t sorry? What if we allowed ourselves to be just what we we were in every given moment? What if we stood in the middle of our lives and let ourselves be as much or as little or as emotional or as full or as empty or as blue or as ridiculous as we needed to be?
What if we stopped apologizing for being who we are?
Imagine who we would then be allowed to be.
We’d be perfect.
