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Sacred Feminine, spirituality, Wild Woman

The Sacred Who?

October 6, 2014

Observance of the soul can be deceptively simple. You take back what has been disowned. You work with what is, rather than what you wish you were. – Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul

 

HolyMotherMeghanGenge

Are you a witch?

That question has been asked of me several times in my life. Once was when someone saw a book of spells my brother had bought for me. Once was by my husband who is convinced I have bewitched him. Other times were not as innocent.

Say the word ‘witch’ to any modern, spiritually seeking woman and I guarantee they will have an emotional reaction. Our collective, ancestral memories of the witch burnings – both of the women and men who were killed and also those who betrayed them – are still very raw on a cellular level. We know that anyone who had any sort of magic (that definition will be covered in another post) was not safe then, so it is obvious that we are not safe now. The passage of so many years between then and now means nothing.

If you are a woman and you believe in magic, if you are connected to nature, to your own instincts, to the healing arts, to your own fiery spirit or to the moon, if you dance to the beat of your own drum, you risked being called a witch (the archetypal witch, not to be confused with those who follow the Wiccan religion.)

But the feminine archetype of the witch is simply one chapter in the story of women, power and the divine feminine; just one facet of God. And as I studied the story of Hestia, I was also drawn to read about the Holy Mother, to listen to the story of the Dark Feminine, and to delve into the chart of my birth and be surprised and yet not surprised how much it was ME. I could feel my cells shifting as I thought about how it is all the same. It’s all energy. It’s all love. It’s all God.

But I was left with the lingering question of whether it was okay – if it was safe – to think this way. Is it okay to embrace the powerful feminine side of the Divine? To use the archetypes of goddesses and witches and healers and the moon and the stars to better understand God? (Because the God I was told about in church didn’t like this sort of thinking.)

And then, I found her. In the very front of Salisbury Cathedral. It wasn’t a Catholic Church, so I wasn’t looking for her, but I found her anyway. She and her baby have been through a lot. Their heads have been bashed and chewed, chipped and bruised. Her feet are discoloured from all of the attention.

Everything around her was stone and marble and glass and gold, but not her. Everything else had a plaque telling its story, but not her. She didn’t make any sense in the gilded, shining building. But I knew her story, deep in my bones.

She was the answer to my question.

It’s all love. It’s all God.

Though I may stumble and fall, I know that this universe mothers me, that I am held on the lap of infinite compassion, infinite patience, infinite unconditional love. – Michael Bernard Beckwith

So, in answer to your question, yes, I am a witch: if by ‘witch’ you mean that I am a woman who has power on my own terms. It is one facet of who I am; one facet of the sacred. And before you ask: yes, I am also deeply spiritual, a writer and a creative, a teacher, a seeker, and a woman. I feel as deep a connection to the natural world as I did to the church I attended growing up. I am also currently healing my ignored instincts, regularly talking to God, and finding inspiration wherever I can.

I also occasionally howl at the moon.

It’s all love. It’s all good. It’s all God.

She told me so. 😉

xo

 

(This is the first of three ‘coming out’ posts that will be coming out this week. I’m making some changes around here. Stay tuned!)

fire

Clearing the Hearth

September 19, 2014

When a hearth is choked with ash and buried memories, it is difficult to sustain fire. We sweep the hearth with our acceptance and understanding of what has been passed on to us from our ancestors. We do this for ourselves, our family, and for the future. – Anne Scott, Serving Fire

 

Last weekend Mark and I decided it was time to do a little bit of radical cleaning. I’ve done enough reading about energy to know that the home is a reflection of what is going on inside. So apparently my insides were quite dusty, cluttered, and even a little bit mouldy.

hearthmeghangengeNot. Good.

So we gave the day over to the kind of cleaning that first creates complete and utter chaos, and I was in charge of the bedroom.

When we first moved into this house it had no heating (that we were allowed to use) apart from the fireplace in the living room. Without proper heating, we soon discovered that any heat that we did manage to get into the house promptly went straight up each of the other three chimneys. So a quick trip to a housewares store equipped us with a dozen pillows which we promptly stuffed up the chimneys. In an attempt to further stop the cold air that also came down the chimneys, we put things in front of the fireplaces – in the case of the one in the bedroom (pictured), it was an unused bulletin board.

And so it went for a hundred years. Or that is what it felt like. Eventually we got central heating. Then we got insulation in our ceiling. Then, finally, a lining for our roof. But the barriers remained firmly in place. Walls: up. We had all but forgotten that there were fireplaces there.

Which brings us to last week. As Mark came in to help me clean, he picked up the bulletin board and said, “Do we really need this anymore?” And I laughed out loud because there it was: the hearth in my bedroom – always there, but completely unnoticed – uncovered not three weeks after I began working with Hestia. Uncovered not two weeks after I had talked late into the night with a dear friend about the importance of the hearth and the heart. Uncovered not one week after I began a new novel all about all of it: the hearth, the heart, fire, and magic.

Sometimes you have to shake your head in wonder at yourself, the universe and everything.

fire

Inviting Hestia

August 7, 2014

” …hearthkeeping is a means through which a woman puts her self and her house in order.” – Jean Shinoda Bolen, Goddesses in Every Woman

 

fire meghan gengeWhen I wrote two weeks ago about going into the flames, I was fully committed to following the fire wherever it led me.

I should have known better.

Just before I began my research into the connection between women and fire, three different things happened. The first thing was a conversation between my husband and I as I stood in the kitchen, barely containing my rage. Why was I so angry? Because I was cooking.

I hate cooking. I hate doing the dishes. I even hate helping someone else in the kitchen. I have written about this before, but believe me when I say that this is real. When I have to do anything in the kitchen I seethe with resentment. I have been known to burst into frustrated tears over getting breakfast on the plate. Me in the kitchen is not a pretty thing.

So there I was, standing in the kitchen, up to my eyes in gluten free béchamel sauce and stuck-together gluten free lasagne noodles, on the verge of hysterical tears, and my long-suffering husband says, “You know you are going to have to deal with this at some point right?”

Very helpful.

The second thing happened the next morning when I got on the scale and found that even after almost 2 months doing the exercise program Insanity, I hadn’t lost a pound. Not one. (And yes, I realize that lasagne wasn’t the best choice on a diet – but still!)

The third thing happened only a few hours later. I opened the first book in my research pile and met Hestia.

Hestia: the first-born Olympian. Goddess of the hearth. Hestia was rarely personified. Her symbol and her presence was the hearth fire.  Hestia is domesticity, home-keeping and hearth-tending. In her book, Goddesses in Every Woman, Jean Shinoda Bolen says, “In order for a house to become a home, Hestia’s presence was required.”

I am about as far removed from Hestia as it is possible to be. If I was to choose an archetype to symbolise me, she would not be the obvious choice. But as I sat there, following my heart to the fire, I knew that I had to start somewhere I hadn’t expected. I knew I had to start with me.

If I want to lose weight, I have to take responsibility for my own nourishment. If I want to find a home, I have to create one. If I want to build a fire, I have to light the match.

Before I can gather women around a fire, I have to take responsibility for my own hearth.

Welcome, Hestia.  I’m ready.

xo