Browsing Tag

wild soul

emerge, writing

Talespinner

January 30, 2011

“If you are a dreamer, come in.  If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean-buyer. If you’re a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin.  Come in! Come in!” – Shel Silverstein

 

moon lanternsIt’s taken until age 36, but I think I have finally remembered who I am.  I say remembered because when it came to me I knew I had known it all along, but had put it away somewhere and forgotten all about it like a once-treasured doll now gathering dust on a shelf.

The process of remembering started last summer with the gentle knowledge of my Style Statement brought on during my participation in Jamie’s Circe’s Circle.  During that time, Jamie also helped me to claim that I was indeed a writer, something I had not fully claimed before.

Then last week a book came in the mail and when I opened it and read just one paragraph I remembered a little bit more.  It was not just about writing, but about stories – ancient stories – but it still didn’t feel complete.  I am not and have never been a storyteller.

And then yesterday two things happened simultaneously: I had to write a bio for a guest post and I joined Jamie’s Year of Dreams circle and had to introduce myself.  Bios scare me, so I decided to sleep on it.  This morning I woke really early with a voice running through my head. “If you are a dreamer, come in…” I have carried this poem with me ever since I read it the first time. I had it pinned to the outside of my bedroom door when I was about 12,  I wrote it on the wall of the craft centre I managed and I’ve scribbled it in nearly every quote or notebook I have.

“…for we have some flax-golden tales to spin…”  and I remembered who I was.

So this morning the first thing I wrote was this:

“Last night I struggled to write a bio for a guest post I am doing on a friends’ blog and this morning I woke up with a new word for the bio: Talespinner.  I’m not even sure it’s a real word, but it felt dangerous and magical and it feels more like the kind of writer I am aspiring to be. I write books that take ancient stories and wisdom and make them resonate with a contemporary audience.  I want people reading my words to feel like they are sitting beside a campfire at the knees of their ancestors hearing stories that help them make sense of their modern lives.”

So there it is.  Finally.

Yes.

xo

Musings, Sacred Feminine

Listen for the Nudges

January 24, 2011

“Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.” – Annie Dillard

 

I remember my very first proper I-want-to-be-like-you-girl-crush.  I was about 17 and working at a living history museum.  I was demonstrating some open-hearth baking and this woman walked in, rendering me speechless.  She was in her late 20s and had the most amazing hair I had ever seen.  It was light blonde and done in beautiful thin dreadlocks woven through with purple and turquoise ribbons.  Her eyes were nearly the same shade of blue as the ribbons, and I remember the almost physical feeling of wanting to be her.  I actually followed her out of the building and watched her walk away.

I have never forgotten her.

Now I see that that reaction was a very clear nudge from my soul.  Practical, well behaved me, however, would never have dreamed of getting dreads.  A second piercing in one ear took me a week to decide on.  I put the desire for a more bohemian, connected me away with a few other nudges and got on with the process of becoming an adult – an adult with no real sense of her own style.

The best part about soul-nudges, however, is that they never really go away.  Since choosing my word for the year I have actively been paying attention to my crushes and choosing to see them for what they really are.  Girl crush, boy crush, house jealousy or style envy have all been on my radar.  I played for hours on Pinterest this weekend and it turns out that whole Sacred Feminine thing?  It goes pretty deep.  It’s been waiting for me for a long time and now it means business.

The deeper I go the more I realize that I should have been listening to my soul all along.  It turns out it knows me pretty well.

xo

P.S. What about you?  Who’s your girl crush?

emerge, Sacred Feminine, whimsy, Wild Woman

to the edge

October 10, 2010

“I don’t think most people go to the edge of anything.” – Caroline Myss

 

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A little while ago I accidentally went alone to an Enchanted Palace.  When I set off in the morning on a solitary adventure, I had no idea that it would take a fairy tale to wake this sleeping beauty.

I have often been told that my expectations are too high.  When your expectations are too high you are inevitably disappointed when the reality does not live up to them.  Arriving at the palace on this day, however, I had no expectations.  I had made the decision to spend the day following whispers and as I got on the tube at Paddington Station, I noticed the poster for the exhibition at Kensington Palace.  As a notice counts as a whisper, that’s where I decided to go next.

The exhibition was absolutely charming, but all I could think as I wandered through the rooms was that I wanted more.  Bigger, more magical, more whimsical, more intriguing possibilities filled my imagination.  They had given me a fairy tale, but I wanted to add fairy dust.  I wanted to emerge from the other side with twigs in my hair and feet sore from dancing, with a whiff of spices tangled in my clothes and a faraway look in my eye.

Standing in the park afterward I realized that it’s not that my expectations are too high, it’s that my perception of the possibilities is enormous.  There, beside a lake in London, the ‘aha’ hit me: however big my belief in shining possibilities, there is the necessary knowledge of dark ones.  One thrills and the other frightens, so I have spent much of my adult life wishing for one but preparing instead for the other and ending up somewhere in the middle.  I have tried to want less fairy dust, but instead of being happier I ended up with cobwebs.

Blinders slipping, feet planted, hair tangled, I am getting closer and closer to the edge.  I can feel it coming.  Sacred and feminine have been showing themselves to me bit by bit, and I know things are changing.  I am no longer afraid of disappointment because I know that I am a grown up and that the magic is in my control.  I am no longer interested in becoming a princess or living happily ever after: I want more.

(A lot more.)

xo