Browsing Tag

who I am

emerge, writing

Talespinner

January 30, 2011

“If you are a dreamer, come in.  If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean-buyer. If you’re a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin.  Come in! Come in!” – Shel Silverstein

 

moon lanternsIt’s taken until age 36, but I think I have finally remembered who I am.  I say remembered because when it came to me I knew I had known it all along, but had put it away somewhere and forgotten all about it like a once-treasured doll now gathering dust on a shelf.

The process of remembering started last summer with the gentle knowledge of my Style Statement brought on during my participation in Jamie’s Circe’s Circle.  During that time, Jamie also helped me to claim that I was indeed a writer, something I had not fully claimed before.

Then last week a book came in the mail and when I opened it and read just one paragraph I remembered a little bit more.  It was not just about writing, but about stories – ancient stories – but it still didn’t feel complete.  I am not and have never been a storyteller.

And then yesterday two things happened simultaneously: I had to write a bio for a guest post and I joined Jamie’s Year of Dreams circle and had to introduce myself.  Bios scare me, so I decided to sleep on it.  This morning I woke really early with a voice running through my head. “If you are a dreamer, come in…” I have carried this poem with me ever since I read it the first time. I had it pinned to the outside of my bedroom door when I was about 12,  I wrote it on the wall of the craft centre I managed and I’ve scribbled it in nearly every quote or notebook I have.

“…for we have some flax-golden tales to spin…”  and I remembered who I was.

So this morning the first thing I wrote was this:

“Last night I struggled to write a bio for a guest post I am doing on a friends’ blog and this morning I woke up with a new word for the bio: Talespinner.  I’m not even sure it’s a real word, but it felt dangerous and magical and it feels more like the kind of writer I am aspiring to be. I write books that take ancient stories and wisdom and make them resonate with a contemporary audience.  I want people reading my words to feel like they are sitting beside a campfire at the knees of their ancestors hearing stories that help them make sense of their modern lives.”

So there it is.  Finally.

Yes.

xo

Musings, spirituality, The Seeker

The power of I am.

September 13, 2010

“I am neither especially clever nor especially gifted. I am only very, very curious.” – Albert Einstein

 

window bathI hear myself say two words a lot.  I hear them attached to words like fat, crazy, Canadian and deaf.  I hear myself parroting them with an air of total finality as if the decision has been made.  They must be true because I preface those things with “I am.”

But who exactly am I?  When I try to make a list I hear a little voice saying, “No, I’m not,” about things that are both good and bad.  There are lots of things that I am sometimes, a few things that I would like to change and lots of things that I wish I was but can’t claim as truth yet.

When I find a new blog or a new site and see that they have a huge, juicy profile I always read it with equal doses of envy and incredulity.  Are they really all of those things?  How miraculous that they can put it down in black and white and claim a long list of who they are.  A quick look at Twitter profiles finds people who are: photographers, adventure-seekers, CEOs, dreamers, tree huggers, vegetarians, activists, coaches, artists, or yoginis.  If you look harder, you can also find leprechauns and faeries, MBAs, authors, designers and comedians.  I’m in awe of those who can so easily claim who they are.  What if they find that they are not?  What if they suddenly realize that they are something else?

By saying, “I am,” we claim ourselves.  Like Baby in Dirty Dancing we claim our dance space.  “I am” sends a ripple of power out into the world and creates a little bit more of our reality.  Care and clarity is certainly required: we wouldn’t want a muddled reality!

So, tentatively, I am stepping out to claim a little bit of dance space for myself.  No more passive use of those most powerful of words allowed.  When I say “I am” from now on I am going to mean it.

Who am I?  Watch this space.

xo

Sacred Feminine, spirituality, The Seeker

How woo woo is too woo woo?

June 27, 2010

Human spirituality is to seek an answer to the question: ‘how can you make sense out of a world which does not seem to be intrinsically reasonable?’ – John D. Morgan

daisy and trees

Spirituality and creativity and nature have always been wrapped up in a tight package for me.  My first church was in the trees at a summer camp, my first memories of a proper built church are full of sitting on my Grandpa’s knee drawing.  Praying and playing and being surrounded by love were one and the same.  As I grew up and found out that that was not other people’s experience, I started to hide mine.  I never really showed myself again.

So although I know that woo woo means different things to different people, I see it as showing overt non traditional beliefs.  When I get to some blogs and I see how free they are with sharing their beliefs, I am either exhilarated or nervous and that rattles me.  So how much do I share on mine? I don’t want to scare you away.  Do I tell you that I have been googling shamanic healing or that I own Faerie Cards or that I have had reiki or that when I am home I like going to church with my Mom?  Do I talk about whether or not I pray or what I believe or that my favorite thing in the world is to find the spirituality section of a big bookstore?

At times I find myself censoring what I write because I am not sure that I am ready to share, but often the bloggers that talk about this part of their lives are the ones to whom I am most drawn.  I know that everyone is different, but what are the lines that you won’t cross?  What makes you stay and read more and what makes you click away immediately?  Is there room for questions of spirituality in a blog or does it put you off?

How woo woo is too woo woo?