“Art is not meant to be created in stolen moments only.” ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes
I used to think that when I had more time, I would write. I used to think that when I moved, had the right desk, the right space, and uninterrupted hours, that I would naturally get back to writing my next book.
Turns out that even when you change everything, you don’t change. You still have the same fears and hang-ups and worries and silly inner voices that you have always had. They don’t go away. They get louder.
When I had a boss and was a boss, I had externally imposed deadlines. I had people counting on me for answers and figures and decisions and ideas. I had to be prepared and excited and inspired and armed with information. I had to turn up. There was no room for my fears of not being good enough. There was no room for insecurities. There was absolutely no room for ‘who do you think you are?’
Which brings me to today. To here. To the edge of the writing of my next book. I’ve started it dozens of times. I even have the beginning written. In fact, I sent the first page to a few friends to read and heard back from them that it was really powerful and they couldn’t wait to read more.
So of course, I stopped writing. I panicked. Because who do I think I am to write about the things that will come up in this book? Who am I to write about women and power and witchcraft and ancestral lines and matrilineal wounds and magic?
But the signs kept coming. Write it. Write the Book. Follow this path where it leads. You’ve been chosen to write this.
Who am I?
I am a woman who is inspired to write a story. And that story is about women and power and witchcraft and ancestral lines and matrilineal wounds and magic. It found me. It asked to be written.
Who am I to deny it? To turn it down? To not write it?
And so I am here to tell you that I am writing it. And because I (apparently) need some structure and a deadline, I have signed up for NaNoWriMo this year. So I will not be here very much in November, because I will be writing.
Who I am not to?
I’m going in.
xo
P.S. What creation or inspiration are you avoiding? Who are you not to?
