spirituality

Contemplating the Stars

December 26, 2017

trees

Something amazing happened the other night, but before I tell you, I have to tell you the backstory.

We are exhausted. And if you know me, you know that I don’t use words like that easily.

Part of the reason we are tired is that we have moved into a house that isn’t quite finished. There are no movers in this part of Costa Rica (well, not that we found), and so moving meant my husband and I and the man who works for us hauling some of our stuff out of the rental house, loading up a flat bed truck with no top or sides that we rented from another guy (until he had to go to his other job), and then unpacking it at the other end, (luckily with help from the builders,) then back to our rental house to load up the car many more times.

You’d think when we don’t have any furniture, if would have been an easy move, but it wasn’t. There are still lots of things to do and we are using lawn chairs, so it feels a lot like camping in someone else’s house.

The other important piece of information is that we have no blinds or curtains yet. As the windows are so big, it requires us to have them made and that has been a bit further down the priorities list than other things. So it’s been early to bed and very early to rise for us.

I have been continuing my daily writing practice, and boring both myself and (I am sure) the Universe with my questions and my complaints. Mostly I think the problem was that I was feeling disconnected. We had done this amazing thing and we just couldn’t seem to feel the way we thought we were going to feel when we moved in. (I know that any of you who have built or moved house are smiling at our naivety. Even we know better.)

So the other night we went to sleep as usual. We were a bit sad because there was supposed to be an amazing meteor shower and – like every other night since we moved in – it was too cloudy to see anything. Just after 4, I was awakened by our bedroom light turning on all by itself.

Yes, turning on. By itself.

I lunged out of bed to turn it off and then lay there for a moment, trying to understand why it had come on in the first place. There wasn’t anyone in the room. My husband was murmuring a bit because he thought it had been me.

Then I saw it. We were completely surrounded by stars. Our bedroom has several enormous windows, so it felt like we were outside under the stars. And there, directly in front of me, shining through my bedroom window, was the brightest, clearest, biggest crescent moon I have ever seen. The way it sat in the sky made it look like an enormous smile.

moon
(This isn’t that moon, I didn’t stop to take a photo. This is one from a year ago.)

I was stunned by the wonder, and for just a moment felt that feeling of tiny insignificance combined with total connection and oneness that only really seeing the stars can bring.

But who turned on the light so that I would see it?

I turned my head to look out of the other window and saw a shooting star. In my sleep-muddled brain, I searched for a wish. This time felt sacred and special and I knew I had to make it a good one.

What I really wanted was to feel that connected to the Magic all of the time.

If the light hadn’t turned on, I would have missed it.

I whispered ‘thank-you’ into the darkness just after I made my wish. The moon smiled back. Another meteor fell, and I lay in the darkness feeling connected and awed and completely befuddled.

There are so many moments in our lives when something happens to surprise us or to pull us out of our heads and into the magic. How is it that we can have moments of such clear and profound connection and then go back to our questions and our worries and our wondering?

But we do. Until the next moment of incredible connection.

My wish for you as we go into the holidays and finish out the year is that you take a moment to remember your moments. Take a moment to remember when you felt connected to something bigger and try to move forward from that feeling as you go through your days.

And from here, this morning, I wish you more of those moments. I wish that your 2018 be filled with moments of wondrous and unexplainable connection.

I hope that you remember who you are.

And as always,
I wish you love.
I wish you peace.
I wish you magic.

With so much love,
meghan

Finding the Magic, Magic

Finding the Magic

November 3, 2016

*Magic.

What does it mean to you?

I never thought that magic would be something that would be the basis for my whole life. Like many people, I always connected magic to the wicked witch, to darkness, and to the unknown. I saw magic as something other, something that good girls like me would never touch.

But then I started to write and people told me that I helped them to see their magic. And then I co-led a retreat and people there told me I had brought magic. And then more than one person called me ‘Magic Meg’, seeing something in me that I had not seen for myself.

So I began embracing it. Playing with it. Participating in it. Loving it.

Within three years, my entire life changed.

And it wasn’t about spells and it wasn’t about potions. It wasn’t remotely about anything dark at all. In fact, it baffled me because it was about doing something that I already do: finding the magic – the divine – in the everyday.

Magic is the word I use for the moment of connection between me and the Mystery.

Magic is the tingle, the wonder, and the enchantment. Magic is the belief in something more. Magic is the delight, the help, the wink, the words, the Divine, the angels, the mystical, the transcendent, the unexplainable, the miracle, the holy.

Magic, for me, isn’t about anything other than proof that we are all divinely connected.

Magic is the moments when we remember who we are.

And it is only more powerful in the company of other women.

Which is why I decided to begin hosting gatherings of women in places known for their magic.

Finding the Magic is about me providing and holding the space for you to crack open the door that stands between you and your very best self. It’s about giving yourself permission to play with what magic you can see, can find, and can feel. It’s about delight and play and letting go just enough to see that you are magic.

is about remembering what it is like to feel free.

And that is what I want for you.

spirituality

When the Virgin Mary is on your front porch

August 8, 2016

I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in the darkness, the astonishing light of your own being. – Hafiz

In every workshop or retreat I have taught at, every online group I have been part of, and every gathering of women, the question of deserving has always come up.

The more I think about it, the more I think that this is the biggest block to us following our dreams.

We think we don’t deserve them.

We believe that we aren’t good enough to deserve love/ good things/ magic/ miracles because of something that happened in our past, and it’s just being proven to us by our new belief in the Law of Attraction.

Because now if bad things happen, or good things don’t happen, not only do I not deserve it because I am somehow a bad person/ unlovable, I am also to blame because I didn’t believe or attract enough. It’s a double-dose of un-deserving.

So no matter what, we suck. It’s bloody exhausting, but we keep doing it – believing in our undeservingness – and beating ourselves to an emotional pulp. So let’s do an experiment and try something else for a minute, because, as Dr. Phil would say: ‘How’s that working for ya?’

When people talk to me about us moving here, they get a funny look in their eye and they tell me how brave or how lucky or even how crazy we are. Know what? We’re not. We are scared. We are freaking out. We look at each other and question our decision every single day. But we never questioned – not once – whether or not we deserved to want this.

Why? Because I choose to no longer believe in the concept of deserving. It definitely doesn’t make things easier, but it sure makes things better.

The change happened for me when I decided to play with believing in a benevolent universe. I started asking, ‘what if?’ What if I deserve to follow my dreams just because I am here? What if I am allowed to believe in miracles just because I got born? What if I am a deeply loved, held, and a tiny piece of the divine having a human experience?

What if there was actually no such thing as not deserving? What then?

Adding ‘what if’ to any thought makes it much more playful. You aren’t committing to the thought, you are just checking it out. Your brain begins to look for answers; for proof. It doesn’t like not knowing something. And as you let yourself play with what ifs, the world opens up and the what ifs get deeper, richer, and more powerful – until you find yourself asking, ‘what if we were to totally change our lives. What then?’

So what if the universe/ the divine/ God/ Goddess/ spirit/ or even the Virgin Mary was actually present in your life all of the time as a loving presence? What would you do differently? What if you and Mary had a standing date for tea and all she ever wanted to do was talk about how beloved you are; not because of something you did or didn’t do, and regardless of what was going on in your life. Would you look at her and tell her all of the ways it wasn’t true? Or would you believe her because – well – she’s the Virgin Mary? What if, just for a moment at a time, you played with believing that it was true?

So I’ll ask you again:

What if there was no such thing as not deserving? What then?

Older Posts

Contemplating the Stars

Finding the Magic

When the Virgin Mary is on your front porch

I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in the darkness, the astonishing light of your own being. – Hafiz

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