new moon

Intentions and Thoughts Under a New Moon

February 8, 2016

You don’t get to game the system of your life. You just don’t. You don’t get to control every outcome and aspect as a way to never give in to the uncertainty and unpredictability of something that’s beyond what you understand. It’s the basis of presence: to show up as you are in this moment and let that be enough. – Jamie Varon

So much. So much has happened, is happening, is going on around me that today I simply sat in the middle of it and just watched it go by. Today I am feeling all of it:

the strange grief that comes when a very very old friend dies,

the profound overwhelm of finally owing land in a place where I don’t (yet) speak the language and where we have to start so close to the ground that the first thing we must do is build a road,

the pull of the new moon – whether you believe in it or not, everything that has happened to me in the past 24 months has been so in tune with the cosmos, it is impossible for me to ignore it,

the feelings of a new year – a year during which I – a wood tiger – have been emphatically warned to stay in my cave.

In total honesty, it is to my cave that I most desire to go. I want to write books and stories and then to venture out only to get my hands in the dirt that will hold my house, my labyrinth, my place. I want to love my family and friends so much that they forget that our only connection for years – too many years – has been liking each other’s social media posts.

I want to show up in every moment of my life. It’s such a cliche to go there when you are grieving someone, but I think that that is what is required to be truly ‘In Cahoots‘ with God/ the Universe/ my Life: just show up and stop trying to show up as someone better. Just show up. As. Is.

If you keep trying to show up as something better or different than you really are, you never actually just show up.

And that’s where the magic is.

So under this Aquarian new moon, when we should,

“…work with this New Moon in a different way than you would typically do so. Instead of focusing on intentions, calling things in and taking conscious action- perhaps you can stand in a place of opening, receptivity and fluidity– allowing the current of the New Moon to take you somewhere new of it’s own accord?” – Divine Harmony

… I am simply showing up as is. No intentions. Nothing to change. Nothing to be fixed. Nothing lacking. Simply open to whatever comes next.

Alignment, emerge, I AM

Building a Mystery

May 19, 2015

Clear away expectations, and let yourself picture a wild, grand new world. ~ Martha Beck

Caroline W Casey quote

I am sitting on my own in the gathering twilight. The jungle of the day is winding down, the jungle of the night is waking up. I was listening to a recorded call by Martha Beck and Boyd Varty, and they were talking about truth. They were talking about the importance of gathering and deep work and play and something bigger and deeper than magic. They were talking about connection.

They were speaking my language.

And in that way that the universe plays with us, as the talk finished, my shuffle went to Sarah McLachlan singing Building a Mystery.

That’s how I feel right now. Like I have been given a sacred gift: the gift of being able to build my life from the ground up. But it is currently a mystery.

And I don’t know what to do with it.

Martha and Boyd talked about not knowing where they were going, but knowing that they were going to be prepared to ‘move at dawn.’ To follow where the path leads.

Part of me would give anything for a crystal ball; for a way to see that we are going to be okay. But then it wouldn’t be a leap of faith. Part of me would like to be in total control and to have things work out exactly the way I want them to. But I know that would be an unnecessarily limited future as I can’t dream big enough for myself.

Caroline Casey, in Making the Gods Work for You, writes about playing with the universe and actively working with the magic and the stories and the stars. In the quote above she talks about conjuring the most beautiful and loving world, but it’s about collaboration with, not dominance over. It’s about moving forward and having faith and doing what you can to align with creation. It’s about listening. It’s about letting go. As I typed that, Sarah McLachlan (another song – Full of Grace – on shuffle, and I haven’t heard her on shuffle for years) sang ‘letting go’ exactly as I typed it.

Magic.

I’ll say it again: it’s about letting go.

It’s dark now, under the new moon. We are so deep in the jungle that the only light I can see is from a few scattered fireflies and a single light up on the ridge above us where the driveway onto our farm meets the dirt road. It’s a different world already, and it feels like anything is possible.

So right now I am asking for help. I am asking for a miracle. I am asking for transformational abundance. I am asking that together we conjure the most beautiful, loving world possible. And as always, I am asking for magic.

And now? I am letting it go.

Building a mystery is going to be so much fun.

I know it. 😉

Intentions and Thoughts Under a New Moon

Building a Mystery

Clear away expectations, and let yourself picture a wild, grand new world. ~ Martha Beck

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