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Celebrating the scrambled eggs

April 3, 2015

“So, that happened.” – Sas Petherick after our first retreat

Yesterday on a Spreecast chat with two gorgeous women, I described my mental state as ‘scrambled eggs.’ I’m up, I’m down. I have moments of total clarity about what we want to do, closely followed by moments of whatthehellarewedoing!? I’m distracted by my need to take in the incredible thriving, fragrant, bustling ecosystem I am currently smack-dab in the middle of, my need to be getting on with The Move, the need to do yoga, make money, do the laundry, and, and, and, oh, and rest.

Yes, rest is the thing I am supposed to be doing right now. That was the plan.

The two beautiful women shook their heads and reminded me of The Huge Thing we have just done. That was really helpful, because in some ways, I had forgotten. I have moved on to the next thing.

In fact, every day, in every way, we are all doing Huge Things. For some it is huge to just get out of bed. For others it is dealing with illness, dealing with overwhelm, dealing with comparison, with guilt, with parenting, with ageing, with loving or hating or moving or changing or staying or lying or telling the truth or just choosing love over and over and over again, no matter how hard it gets.

I firmly believe that there is no sliding scale of bigness on the stuff we do. It’s all huge, and it is all relative. This being human thing is hard work, no matter where you are and what you do. And we hardly ever pause long enough to see that. There are no mini dance parties to celebrate our victory, or champagne corks popped on a seemingly ordinary Thursday afternoon. We save the special bottle for a more special occasion. We don’t celebrate because we are too busy moving on to the next thing.

So after the conversation was over, I got really quiet and looked out at the jungle. And took my first really deep breath.

So that happened.

We did that.

And we’re doing this.

It’s all good, and my eggs feel a lot less scrambled – maybe closer to poached.

Do you want to be part of a warm and open-hearted community of women, gathered around a virtual hearth fire? Would you like to join those women for discussion about spirituality, questions, self-care and magic?

Do you crave open, honest conversation about spirituality?

Then we would love it if you would join Sas Petherick and I for Heart and Hearth.

Becoming Visible, fear

Have Tissues, Want to Travel

November 5, 2013

“It’s too bad that so much time has been wasted, but it would be unforgivable to wait any longer. You have the ability to contribute so much. We need you, now.” – Seth Godin, The Icarus Deception

It happens every time.

Every. Time.

And I have done enough self-inquiry to know that there is more to this than bad luck.

Every time I start to move forward I get sick or damaged in some way; it’s always just enough to make forward movement much more difficult, if not temporarily impossible.

Yoga has the swiftest reaction. Just 5 days of yoga can bring on any number of disgusting ailments. And yes, I know that it’s because I am shifting stuff – what I need now is to know how to shift stuff without it turning into snot.

I know that a lot of this has to do with protection. But I also know that I am capable of so much. That I am ready to do so much. That I don’t need to protect myself any more. I need to find a way to tell my deep-inside control panel that it is safe for me to step out and be big.

I need to know deep deep down that it safe for me to move. And I want to do it without the need for kleenex.

Because for me, right now, movement is non-negotiable.

Brave, emotions, fear, Sacred Feminine, Wild Woman

Is That REALLY Fear?

January 1, 2012

“Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous, there’s really nothing to lose.”

– Jewel

The powerful shifts of 2012 began this morning before I had even gotten out of my pyjamas.

My cells feel scrambled and the world looks different than it did 20 minutes ago.

I started the day listening to the last Circe’s Tribe call recording. In the opening meditation, Jamie had us visualise something that included a colour and an emotion associated with it. The colour that I saw was pink, and when she said emotion, I thought that I felt panic. I have been feeling that feeling off an on for a few months now and I have been swallowing that feeling down, giving myself heartache in the process.

I almost stopped listening, but then a question came into my head: “Is that actually panic that I am feeling? Is it really fear or could it be another energy? Could it be power? Excitement? Passion? The colour was pink after all?!”

The question stopped me cold. In that moment I realised that I have the same reaction to all of the great big strong emotions. Afraid of their bigness, I call them all the same thing: fear. Being afraid of them meant that I stopped knowing what they really were.

That realisation brought on the most incredible feeling of expansion.

Then anxiousness.

Then excitement.

Big excitement.

And then I wrote this in my journal:

“Q: What do I focus on next?

I commit to meeting my emotions, naming and allowing them; letting them be as big as they need to be and expanding myself so that I am big enough and brave enough to hold them.”

“Q: What do I do next?

I commit to meeting my emotions, naming and allowing them; letting them be as big as they need to be and expanding myself so that I am big enough and brave enough to hold them.”

There’s that feeling again, but I am going to walk over and meet it face-to-face.

yes.

Older Posts

Celebrating the scrambled eggs

“So, that happened.” – Sas Petherick after our first retreat

Have Tissues, Want to Travel

“It’s too bad that so much time has been wasted, but it would be unforgivable to wait any longer. You have the ability to contribute so much. We need you, now.” – Seth Godin, The Icarus Deception

Is That REALLY Fear?

“Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous, there’s really nothing to lose.”

– Jewel

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