“Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.” – Annie Dillard
I remember my very first proper I-want-to-be-like-you-girl-crush. I was about 17 and working at a living history museum. I was demonstrating some open-hearth baking and this woman walked in, rendering me speechless. She was in her late 20s and had the most amazing hair I had ever seen. It was light blonde and done in beautiful thin dreadlocks woven through with purple and turquoise ribbons. Her eyes were nearly the same shade of blue as the ribbons, and I remember the almost physical feeling of wanting to be her. I actually followed her out of the building and watched her walk away.
I have never forgotten her.
Now I see that that reaction was a very clear nudge from my soul. Practical, well behaved me, however, would never have dreamed of getting dreads. A second piercing in one ear took me a week to decide on. I put the desire for a more bohemian, connected me away with a few other nudges and got on with the process of becoming an adult – an adult with no real sense of her own style.
The best part about soul-nudges, however, is that they never really go away. Since choosing my word for the year I have actively been paying attention to my crushes and choosing to see them for what they really are. Girl crush, boy crush, house jealousy or style envy have all been on my radar. I played for hours on Pinterest this weekend and it turns out that whole Sacred Feminine thing? It goes pretty deep. It’s been waiting for me for a long time and now it means business.
The deeper I go the more I realize that I should have been listening to my soul all along. It turns out it knows me pretty well.
xo
P.S. What about you? Who’s your girl crush?
