Contemplating the Stars

Something amazing happened the other night, but before I tell you, I have to tell you the backstory.

We are exhausted. And if you know me, you know that I don’t use words like that easily.

Part of the reason we are tired is that we have moved into a house that isn’t quite finished. There are no movers in this part of Costa Rica (well, not that we found), and so moving meant my husband and I and the man who works for us hauling some of our stuff out of the rental house, loading up a flat bed truck with no top or sides that we rented from another guy (until he had to go to his other job), and then unpacking it at the other end, (luckily with help from the builders,) then back to our rental house to load up the car many more times.

You’d think when we don’t have any furniture, if would have been an easy move, but it wasn’t. There are still lots of things to do and we are using lawn chairs, so it feels a lot like camping in someone else’s house.

The other important piece of information is that we have no blinds or curtains yet. As the windows are so big, it requires us to have them made and that has been a bit further down the priorities list than other things. So it’s been early to bed and very early to rise for us.

I have been continuing my daily writing practice, and boring both myself and (I am sure) the Universe with my questions and my complaints. Mostly I think the problem was that I was feeling disconnected. We had done this amazing thing and we just couldn’t seem to feel the way we thought we were going to feel when we moved in. (I know that any of you who have built or moved house are smiling at our naivety. Even we know better.)

So the other night we went to sleep as usual. We were a bit sad because there was supposed to be an amazing meteor shower and – like every other night since we moved in – it was too cloudy to see anything. Just after 4, I was awakened by our bedroom light turning on all by itself.

Yes, turning on. By itself.

I lunged out of bed to turn it off and then lay there for a moment, trying to understand why it had come on in the first place. There wasn’t anyone in the room. My husband was murmuring a bit because he thought it had been me.

Then I saw it. We were completely surrounded by stars. Our bedroom has several enormous windows, so it felt like we were outside under the stars. And there, directly in front of me, shining through my bedroom window, was the brightest, clearest, biggest crescent moon I have ever seen. The way it sat in the sky made it look like an enormous smile.

(This isn’t that moon, I didn’t stop to take a photo. This is one from a year ago.)

I was stunned by the wonder, and for just a moment felt that feeling of tiny insignificance combined with total connection and oneness that only really seeing the stars can bring.

But who turned on the light so that I would see it?

I turned my head to look out of the other window and saw a shooting star. In my sleep-muddled brain, I searched for a wish. This time felt sacred and special and I knew I had to make it a good one.

What I really wanted was to feel that connected to the Magic all of the time.

If the light hadn’t turned on, I would have missed it.

I whispered ‘thank-you’ into the darkness just after I made my wish. The moon smiled back. Another meteor fell, and I lay in the darkness feeling connected and awed and completely befuddled.

There are so many moments in our lives when something happens to surprise us or to pull us out of our heads and into the magic. How is it that we can have moments of such clear and profound connection and then go back to our questions and our worries and our wondering?

But we do. Until the next moment of incredible connection.

My wish for you as we go into the holidays and finish out the year is that you take a moment to remember your moments. Take a moment to remember when you felt connected to something bigger and try to move forward from that feeling as you go through your days.

And from here, this morning, I wish you more of those moments. I wish that your 2018 be filled with moments of wondrous and unexplainable connection.

I hope that you remember who you are.

And as always,
I wish you love.
I wish you peace.
I wish you magic.

With so much love,