“the long work of turning their lives into a celebration is not easy.” – Mary Oliver
I’m full today. I’m full of potential and possibility. I am full of gratitude for unexpected time given and serious November weather. I am full of fire and energy to get on with my business of creation. I am full of doubts and fears about my place in that business. I am full of inspiration, but am greedily gulping more down, sitting with sites and books and oracles open on the table in front of me, unable to pick just one. I am full of the beauty of an orange pumpkin and gale force winds and sunshine streaming in a perfect square on the floor. I am full of despair at the loss of time and the confusion between believing that the world is unfolding as it should and believing that there is power in wishing for something. I am full of love and pride for friends as their lives expand in creative and powerful ways. I am full of envy for people who have been able to create their life as they want it. I want them to teach me their secret. I am full of joy that I am beginning to create my own life as I want it, and intrigued because even my own secret evades me. Maybe theirs evades them too. I am full of delicious food and just one tiny spoonful of Nutella. I am full of a rich, ancient, deep yearning for connection and knowledge: for women around a fire and a drumming that comes from my own heart. I am full of wild spinning and serious sitting. I am full of years of creativity that has been stifled, paintings that haven’t been painted, and dances that haven’t been danced. I am full of joy for the words that I have written and the books that will be birthed by me. I am full of love for my family, and full of hope that I will soon be back in the land of my birth. I am full of so much today that it feels like my skin is the only thing keeping me contained in this space. I am full of the whispers of my wild woman and today I am not afraid.
Roar.
“Be homesick for wild knowing.” – Clarissa Pinkola Estes
(Grateful necklace from Bella Wish, and Joy necklace from Superhero Designs!)
My commute home from work consists of a ten minute walk through a garden, an avenue of trees, a field and a tiny path through some woods. We’ve been here for about five months now, and I have yet to take it for granted. It feels so special that on my very first walk, even though it was my first day and I was nervous, I whispered a greeting to several of the trees. (I have been known to talk to things in the past, but these trees in particular compelled my attention. I think they actually greeted me first.)