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Wild Woman

archetypes, Sacred Feminine, totems, Wild Woman

Bear Medicine

July 24, 2011

“When you imagine your future, do not think that you will be the same then as you are now.” – Sanaya Roman

 

loon 2Loon on Kearney Lake, Algonquin Park photo by me.

When I was in Canada, we had a close encounter with a black bear.  Coming out of hibernation and finding very little to eat, some of the bears in Algonquin Park decide that the food that the humans are cooking and leaving around would be a lot more filling than waiting for the blueberries to ripen.  We now know that a) they can smell beer through cans (in our neighbor’s campsite) and b) that even rice cakes smell nice when you are starving (in my brother and sister-in-law’s dining tent.)

Yes, I know that the photo above is not a bear. I didn’t stop to take any pictures of it ripping through our dining tent as I carried my 2.5 year old niece to the safety of the van!  A park warden arrived shortly thereafter and began shooting rubber bullets at the bear to scare it away.  It was not a nice connecting-with-animals experience for any of us – including the bear.

Before I left for Canada I was going through a prolonged and very boring angst-y period about what sort of writing I should be doing and who I was.  Lots of signs happened around me showing me the way and I half-heartedly paid attention to them.  But that’s the problem with signs and nudges: if you don’t listen to them, they get louder and stronger.  Looking up ‘Bear’ in Animal Speak, I found that it is a powerful messenger, linked with myths and stories. Bear, it would seem had a message for me and it really wanted me to pay attention.

While I was in the park I saw loons, beavers, moose, chipmunks, bluejays and a bear.  Did I run home and look up all of those creatures to see what messages they had?  Nope. Did I listen to the gentle messengers in case they wanted to tell me something?  Nope.  That poor bear had to get shot in the backside to get my attention.  And as much message as Bear had for me, I got a message in the method as well.  Starving, it was so desperate for any nourishment that it risked its safety to get it.  It was not interested in us at all; it only wanted to eat.  It was our fear and our reaction that made the situation turn violent and frightening.

Nourish the wild soul, listen for the messages, pay attention and don’t be afraid of connection with the sacred and the wild.  These are lessons I humbly accept from the bear.  But I got another one I like a lot too.  It’s the one my friend Jo give me when I told her about the bear:”it’s time to come out of your cave!”

RrrroooOOoooooAAAaaaaaRRRrrrrr!

xo

Sacred Feminine, Stories, Wild Woman, writing

Seeking Truth

February 3, 2011

“Come with me | and you’ll be | in a world of | pure imagination” – Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley

 

butterfly dressWhen you finally open your eyes and see what you’ve actually known all along, you fall into a place that takes your breath away.  Since declaring myself a Talespinner, enchantment, magic, stories and connection have been lining up and demanding I notice them. I am becoming increasingly impatient to tell you the stories that are being whispered in my ear.

I want to tell you the story of the woman who saw her full beauty for the first time and was transformed into sparkling light.

I want to tell you the story of the dress that danced itself to pieces waiting for its owner to notice that it had gone on without her.

I want to tell you about the woman who took her shoes off while she stood under a tree and grew roots so deep that the earth moved with her when she danced.

I want to tell you about the woman who climbed out of her own mouth.

I want to tell you about the place where our dreams go to wait for us to dream them.

I want to tell you about the darkness that has taken seed and begun masquerading as a lover.

I want to weave all of these stories together and tell them to you so that we can both be wrapped in the truth that only stories can tell. But I can’t tell you all at once; I need to be patient.

My first book told the story of a woman waking up. This one will explain why she woke to find leaves in her hair.

“You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” – Mary Oliver

The picture above is from the portfolio of artist Su Blackwell. I’d never seen Su’s work before, but have very quickly become a huge fan!
emerge, Sacred Feminine, whimsy, Wild Woman

to the edge

October 10, 2010

“I don’t think most people go to the edge of anything.” – Caroline Myss

 

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A little while ago I accidentally went alone to an Enchanted Palace.  When I set off in the morning on a solitary adventure, I had no idea that it would take a fairy tale to wake this sleeping beauty.

I have often been told that my expectations are too high.  When your expectations are too high you are inevitably disappointed when the reality does not live up to them.  Arriving at the palace on this day, however, I had no expectations.  I had made the decision to spend the day following whispers and as I got on the tube at Paddington Station, I noticed the poster for the exhibition at Kensington Palace.  As a notice counts as a whisper, that’s where I decided to go next.

The exhibition was absolutely charming, but all I could think as I wandered through the rooms was that I wanted more.  Bigger, more magical, more whimsical, more intriguing possibilities filled my imagination.  They had given me a fairy tale, but I wanted to add fairy dust.  I wanted to emerge from the other side with twigs in my hair and feet sore from dancing, with a whiff of spices tangled in my clothes and a faraway look in my eye.

Standing in the park afterward I realized that it’s not that my expectations are too high, it’s that my perception of the possibilities is enormous.  There, beside a lake in London, the ‘aha’ hit me: however big my belief in shining possibilities, there is the necessary knowledge of dark ones.  One thrills and the other frightens, so I have spent much of my adult life wishing for one but preparing instead for the other and ending up somewhere in the middle.  I have tried to want less fairy dust, but instead of being happier I ended up with cobwebs.

Blinders slipping, feet planted, hair tangled, I am getting closer and closer to the edge.  I can feel it coming.  Sacred and feminine have been showing themselves to me bit by bit, and I know things are changing.  I am no longer afraid of disappointment because I know that I am a grown up and that the magic is in my control.  I am no longer interested in becoming a princess or living happily ever after: I want more.

(A lot more.)

xo