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Stillness

emerge, Musings, Sacred Feminine, Stillness

Where Do I Fit?

October 5, 2011

“All mystics speak the same language for they come from the same country.” – Saint-Martin

 

Sunlight through trees meg

Where do you go when you don’t fit anywhere?

This question has been haunting me for a very long time.  I – like many others – never quite felt that I fit. I didn’t ever really have a dream or a heroine that I could point to and emphatically say: “that is what I want to be when I grow up.” I thought I wanted to teach, I thought I wanted to write, I thought I wanted to run an outdoor education centre, I thought I wanted to get married and have two point two kids, but I never knew.

This past summer I spent some time in a place that is holy for me.  From the time that I was small, Algonquin Park in Ontario has soothed my soul.  Walking one of the trails, I realized that despite the steep climb, for the first time in a long time, I was feeling peace.  It wasn’t because I had found any answers to my perpetual questions, it was because I was letting the park – one of my oldest friends – guide me.

I’ve been trying to distill the lesson I got into something coherent, but it is elusive. It’s not a sentence or a phrase, it is a feeling. To find where you fit, you need to find what feels sacred to you and do that or be there as much as you can.  If go go there with an open heart and a willing soul, you will see glimpses of the peace that has been eluding you.

You will find that your fit isn’t so hard to find after all.

xo

emerge, sacred, Stillness

Journey Inwards

September 12, 2011

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition… what you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” – Alan Alda

 

path light and dark

Over and over, I have asked for guidance. “Where do I go?” “What is the next step?” “What is blocking me?”  Over and over, I have picked up books hoping that they would lead the way.  Going back through them, the bookmark is in exactly the same place each time:  it is holding my place on the page where it said, “Become still, be quiet and listen, or meditate.” I have always stopped there and not listened. But I kept asking the same questions.

The one time I tried to meditate, I sat still for twenty minutes three days in a row.  On the third day I stood up with a whole book in my head.  I wrote the book, but I didn’t meditate again.

For the past 5 weeks, I have been participating in Pixie Campbell’s Soulodge.  I have never – not once – completed an e-course before, but I have just about completed this one.  And do you know what she asked us to do?  Become still. Be quiet and listen. Journey inwards.  This time I pushed through my resistance and actually did as I was told.

And the answers to my questions were all there waiting for me.

Why are the easiest sounding steps the ones that are the hardest to take?

Sit still.  Be quiet and listen. Journey inwards. Meditate.

yes.

P.S. Pixie is hosting another Soulodge from the 31rst of October.  I highly recommend it.

Quotes, sacred, Stillness, totems

oh Canada…

June 28, 2011

Don Genge Camping web

Lost

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.

No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

-David Wagoner

I’m off tomorrow for a trip home.  Me and the family and the trees need some time together.  I may see you here while I am there but if not, I’ll see you when I get back.

Photo by my Dad.

xo