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inspiring women

Brave, inspiring women, Sacred Feminine, spirituality, The Seeker

Going Nova

July 12, 2010

“…I allow myself to be uncorked, unabashed, and showered with delicious good in every facet of my life.  I don’t need to fit in anymore, in the world of struggling, suffering, complaining, and belittling. I am going nova and that’s okay.” – Tama J. Kieves on CrazySexyLife.com

 

I did it again. I was going to write another post about woo woo, and in waiting for just the right moment to write it, I didn’t write it at all.  There is another post about it coming, but it’s not ready yet, so I wanted to check in.

Things in my head are quite strange, so I apologize if this is all over the place.  I just finished watching the movie Amelia.  It was gentle and lovely, and even though I knew how it ended, I willed her to make it just the same.  Sometimes I wonder if people were put on this earth just to show the rest of us how it is done.  We remember her for how her story ended, but the important part is that she lived.

A friend did a Reiki healing on me earlier this year.  When she got to my head she remarked that my energy felt like she was being given a deep fresh breath.  I’ve been thinking a lot about that in the months since.  I feel like there is a force, an energy within me that I haven’t quite accessed yet.  Lately I have realized that it is not from lack of trying but perhaps it is because I have been trying too hard.   What is important is not how my story ends, but the way that I have lived.  This isn’t new, or rocket science, but it is surprisingly hard to hold on to.

Just a few minutes ago I read the quote above and thought about the concept of going nova.  Nova: “a star that ejects some of its material in the form of a cloud and becomes more luminous in the process.”

Yes.  All I can say is yes.

Brave, fear, inspiring women, love, Sacred Feminine

Big Fat Failure

June 14, 2010

“Acting on your own behalf is about slowly becoming a person you can count on. It is about recognizing what you do that causes you pain and acting on those insights.” – Geneen Roth

 

growing treeGo gently.

There is a tender soul there.

They are doing the best they can, but they can’t see that.

They can’t see the path that is spiraling around ahead of them, bringing them closer and closer to where they want to be.

They only see that they aren’t getting there.

They only see the times that they didn’t follow through with their plan or didn’t listen to their inner voice. They only remember eating the world and sleeping through and letting fear be the boss.  They only remember that they somehow let themselves down.

They only see that they are a big fat failure.

They don’t see the tender human being who is doing the best they can.  They don’t see that everyone else is struggling too.  They don’t see that other people sleep in and eat the world and don’t write 10,000 words a day or have perfectly clean houses or perfect marriages or easy lives.

They don’t see that they are beautiful and getting there.

Go gently.

There is a tender soul there who is learning their lessons slowly.

They don’t see that every step forward that they do take is worth 5 steps back.

They don’t see the other people who are looking at them and wondering how they got to be so wonderful.

They don’t see that they shine.

Go gently.

inspiring women, light, love

seeing through

March 26, 2010

“Nothing and everything cannot coexist. To believe in one is to deny the other. Fear is really nothing and love is everything. Whenever light enters darkness, the darkness is abolished.” – Dr. Helen Schucman

 

The strangest thing happened to me yesterday. I have tried to write about it a couple of times, but I can’t explain it without it sounding weird. I was walking through the city and had an overwhelming sensation of greyness. It was like a curtain was pulled back and for a few minutes I could feel what everyone around me was feeling. A woman walked by me biting her lip, and I felt such sadness coming out of her, I almost cried. I’ve had sensations of knowing what other people were feeling before, but never a whole city at a time! I was shaking with sorrow by the time I got to my doctor’s appointment.

Then, in the waiting room I saw Patricia. She walked in like a beam of light. With long blonde and white hair, a cream-coloured cape slung over both shoulders, and the most peaceful face I had ever seen, I couldn’t stop looking at her. She sat down and pulled out a Harry Potter book, smiling to herself as she read. Her energy soothed me from across the room. It was mesmerizing. I was going to be brave and get up to meet her, but before I could get up the courage, the nurse poked her head out of the door and called her name. Patricia. She smiled widely at the nurse, said a hearty hello, and was gone.

I feel like a bit of a stalker writing these words, but the effect that this woman’s energy had on me was startling. I had felt such deep sorrow in the minutes before seeing her, the effect of such positive energy was like a jolt of caffeine to the system. She felt powerful and angelic to me, and I wanted more – not more of her, I’m not that much of a stalker – but more of it for myself. I wanted to know whatever she knew that caused her to fill the room with light. And I want to remember so that I can always find my way when things get grey.

Thank you Patricia, wherever you are. Thank you for showing me the way through.