“Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous, there’s really nothing to lose.”
– Jewel
The powerful shifts of 2012 began this morning before I had even gotten out of my pyjamas.
My cells feel scrambled and the world looks different than it did 20 minutes ago.
I started the day listening to the last Circe’s Tribe call recording. In the opening meditation, Jamie had us visualise something that included a colour and an emotion associated with it. The colour that I saw was pink, and when she said emotion, I thought that I felt panic. I have been feeling that feeling off an on for a few months now and I have been swallowing that feeling down, giving myself heartache in the process.
I almost stopped listening, but then a question came into my head: “Is that actually panic that I am feeling? Is it really fear or could it be another energy? Could it be power? Excitement? Passion? The colour was pink after all?!”
The question stopped me cold. In that moment I realised that I have the same reaction to all of the great big strong emotions. Afraid of their bigness, I call them all the same thing: fear. Being afraid of them meant that I stopped knowing what they really were.
That realisation brought on the most incredible feeling of expansion.
Then anxiousness.
Then excitement.
Big excitement.
And then I wrote this in my journal:
I commit to meeting my emotions, naming and allowing them; letting them be as big as they need to be and expanding myself so that I am big enough and brave enough to hold them.”
There’s that feeling again, but I am going to walk over and meet it face-to-face.
yes.
When I was a teen-ager I decided I wanted to do yoga. Typically, rather than go to a class I read a book about it. The book I chose told me all about the diet and the philosophy and it freaked me out. Be a vegetarian? Meditate? At 16? You might as well have asked me to go to Mars. What would people think?