“I would be safer if I was not so visible.” – Marianne Williamson
A few years ago a blogger I admired put up a post closing down her blog. I remember that she wrote that “the kitchen was bare.” I can relate to that. I feel like the things I have felt comfortable writing about are all used up and the cupboards are bare.
For the past week or so I have toyed with closing down for a little while while I sort things out. I am in the midst of doing some shapeshifting. Even now as I type I feel raw and quiet about the things that are coming up. I have touched on them before when I began telling you about the stories that I wanted to write and when I claimed the title of talespinner, but when I got to the edge of that place that felt dangerous and real, I froze up and stopped writing.
There is still a place in me that is scared to go there.
More than anything, I want to be real. More than anything I want to write things here that connect us through space. The stories that are asking to be told are strange and wonderful, but I hesitate at their edges and worry that they will be too weird, too whimsical or too much – much as I worry sometimes that if I let go I will be those things – so I put down the pen.
But my delight at images like this one and the eclectic collection I am amassing on Pinterest show just how whimsical and strange and sacred my writing could be and I realize that I am only fooling myself. I am who I am. Forgive me if it takes a little while for me to get up the courage to show you.
xo
(I don’t know who to give credit for this image. The Pinterest link hits a dead end. If you know, please let me know and I will give credit where credit is due.)
we’ll be waiting for you, my love xoxo
be kind to yourself during the metamorphosis
All in good time. And remember to not compare yourself to everything else and everyone else you see on the internet whether it be blogs or FB or pinterest or any other form of social media. Just be you. The rest is irrelevant.
The best stories you can tell are the ones that come from your authentic heart. I have read your book and it was so different and quite the page turner; you have a strong beautiful voice, don’t be afraid of its sound. Hugs, Kxo
I always recommend giving yourself the space to write or not to write… or even to write privately.
And when I feel that I cannot share something I try to remember all of the things that I have read that made me think things like, “you can write that??” or “i thought that was just me” or “omg, i’ve never read anything like this… this is incredible” and remember that I have such things in me as well, but that I am holding them back for fear of it being just me, or too weird, or too personal, etc.
xoxo
I’m a lurker who understands very well about the fear of showing your true being. At the same time the people I follow on the internet are the women who are not afraid to show everything. The people I admire for their authenticity, their voice, their true being. The people who show me that maybe I am not so weird/strange/disconnected from the rest of the world as I sometimes think……
Maybe what you think of as “too weird, too whimsical or too much” is a normal world for more people then you might think.
Think about the great blog Can we just be honest?’ from Susannah!
Thank you for your courage in showing us so much of yourself already! I have been terrified of showing my new, still-tender, self,too! You are not alone. Sending peace to you! :0)
I have been reading your blog off and on for some time now. Each time I come back, I am so grateful for your honest and grateful posts. It is such a pleasure to read about your experience. Many thanks….