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a passionate affair with words

September 18, 2010

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.” – Gustave Flaubert

 

Ooh, can you feel that one?

Am I the only one afflicted by this or does it happen to you too?

Do you ever get an electric shock from words?

Does your skin ever tingle when you find just the right combination of letters and spaces that speaks directly to somewhere deep in your body?

Do you ever feel like your heart or your soul or your toes or your neck actually understand what the writer said before your brain does?

Do your eyes sparkle or tear up when they read something that touches you exactly where you are in the moment?

Have you ever read something three times and felt nothing only to find on the fourth visit it grabs you by the heart and won’t let go?

Does your throat read words more intensely and reactively than your brain?

Do you gulp words down in bites far too big to chew because you cannot get them in quickly enough?

Do you delight in finding kindred spirits on the page or screen?

Are words as necessary to you as your breath?

…or is it just me?

Musings, spirituality, The Seeker

The power of I am.

September 13, 2010

“I am neither especially clever nor especially gifted. I am only very, very curious.” – Albert Einstein

 

window bathI hear myself say two words a lot.  I hear them attached to words like fat, crazy, Canadian and deaf.  I hear myself parroting them with an air of total finality as if the decision has been made.  They must be true because I preface those things with “I am.”

But who exactly am I?  When I try to make a list I hear a little voice saying, “No, I’m not,” about things that are both good and bad.  There are lots of things that I am sometimes, a few things that I would like to change and lots of things that I wish I was but can’t claim as truth yet.

When I find a new blog or a new site and see that they have a huge, juicy profile I always read it with equal doses of envy and incredulity.  Are they really all of those things?  How miraculous that they can put it down in black and white and claim a long list of who they are.  A quick look at Twitter profiles finds people who are: photographers, adventure-seekers, CEOs, dreamers, tree huggers, vegetarians, activists, coaches, artists, or yoginis.  If you look harder, you can also find leprechauns and faeries, MBAs, authors, designers and comedians.  I’m in awe of those who can so easily claim who they are.  What if they find that they are not?  What if they suddenly realize that they are something else?

By saying, “I am,” we claim ourselves.  Like Baby in Dirty Dancing we claim our dance space.  “I am” sends a ripple of power out into the world and creates a little bit more of our reality.  Care and clarity is certainly required: we wouldn’t want a muddled reality!

So, tentatively, I am stepping out to claim a little bit of dance space for myself.  No more passive use of those most powerful of words allowed.  When I say “I am” from now on I am going to mean it.

Who am I?  Watch this space.

xo