“So off we go, down into a different world, under a different sky, with unfamiliar ground beneath our boots.” – Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes
The week before Mark and I got married, our families hosted a rehearsal dinner for us. Well I decided that I would rock some killer heels for the party and bought a fabulous pair of green shoes. The confidence they gave me caused much hair flipping and sassy leg crossing until about half-way through the party. I know that you all think I’m going to say my feet hurt, but they weren’t the problem. No. I actually began to feel uncomfortable being a different size.
Taller than my Dad, my Mom and my fiance, I didn’t fit into the space normally held for me. At first I enjoyed the feeling, but as the night wore on I felt like I was taking up too much space. When I had first arrived people talked about how great my shoes were but as my confidence shrunk they talked instead about how tall I was wearing them.
I took them off.
This week I have felt the same way: like I was taking up a different space. Claiming my space as a writer felt so liberating, but as the days passed I felt a pressure to write something marvelous or put up a killer blog post. Instead I played around on Pinterest and didn’t write a thing. The ground I was walking on was too unfamiliar and I began kicking off my shoes.
Space once claimed however, does not go quietly! Characters have been bombarding me and stories have appeared around every corner (literally – they have accosted me on my walk to work.) I’ve sat them down in a circle and told them to wait their turn. They grumbled a bit, but when I gave them stickers with numbers on them like American Idol contestants, they gave in. And looking over the assembled I can safely say that this next book is going to be delicious.
So I’ve begun writing again. With these folks waiting I haven’t got time to feel small.
In the meantime if you are on my mailing list, watch your inbox. I might just send out a bedtime story or two.
xo
