Meghan | Meghan Genge - Part 51Meghan Genge

Brave, emotions, fear, Sacred Feminine, Wild Woman

Is That REALLY Fear?

January 1, 2012

“Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous, there’s really nothing to lose.”

– Jewel

The powerful shifts of 2012 began this morning before I had even gotten out of my pyjamas.

My cells feel scrambled and the world looks different than it did 20 minutes ago.

I started the day listening to the last Circe’s Tribe call recording. In the opening meditation, Jamie had us visualise something that included a colour and an emotion associated with it. The colour that I saw was pink, and when she said emotion, I thought that I felt panic. I have been feeling that feeling off an on for a few months now and I have been swallowing that feeling down, giving myself heartache in the process.

I almost stopped listening, but then a question came into my head: “Is that actually panic that I am feeling? Is it really fear or could it be another energy? Could it be power? Excitement? Passion? The colour was pink after all?!”

The question stopped me cold. In that moment I realised that I have the same reaction to all of the great big strong emotions. Afraid of their bigness, I call them all the same thing: fear. Being afraid of them meant that I stopped knowing what they really were.

That realisation brought on the most incredible feeling of expansion.

Then anxiousness.

Then excitement.

Big excitement.

And then I wrote this in my journal:

“Q: What do I focus on next?

I commit to meeting my emotions, naming and allowing them; letting them be as big as they need to be and expanding myself so that I am big enough and brave enough to hold them.”

“Q: What do I do next?

I commit to meeting my emotions, naming and allowing them; letting them be as big as they need to be and expanding myself so that I am big enough and brave enough to hold them.”

There’s that feeling again, but I am going to walk over and meet it face-to-face.

yes.

Brave, emerge, fear, light, Quotes, Word of the Year

Word for 2012: Emerge

December 30, 2011

“I feel my boots trying to leave the ground, I feel my heart pumping hard. I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbable beautiful and afraid of nothing, as though I had wings.” – Mary Oliver

“Are you still writing?”

I hadn’t spoken to him in 10 years, but in the 3 minutes we spent on the phone, he asked if I was still writing.

“A little,” I said.

A little?

I still can’t do it. I still feel apologetic when I talk about writing.

Then someone I loved asked me if I actually wanted to be a writer… after all, I don’t act like one.

Do I? Do I want to be a writer? Do I love writing? No. I love words. I love words that when strung together have the power to create inspiration and connection. I love what is possible when you write.

The truth will be evident to anyone who really knows me or who reads this blog occasionally.

The truth is that writing scares me, but it is actually bigger than that:

I scare me.

I can’t just sit down and write for the sake of writing. I could never paint for the sake of painting or cook for the sake of cooking or tidy for the sake of tidying, or exercise for the sake of simply moving my body. In the past, everything with me has had to be a production, the creation of something wonderful or be in some way A BIG DEAL.

So it is no surprise that I just stopped trying. Grown-up life just didn’t have the fireworks that I craved, and feeling that electric every day with no return just creates disappointment. Then, forgetting that I had given up shooting for the moon, I went through hell trying to figure out what was wrong with me and why I wasn’t living up to my own perceived potential.

That’s where 2012 comes in.

Marianne Williamson said: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

It is my light that most frightens me, but I have spent years focusing instead on the darkness.

2012 is about focusing on the light. Period. But instead of giving myself more pressure to be, do and feel all at once, 2012 is about emerging.

Emerge for me is traveling the distance between the dark and the light, choosing to step closer to one and farther away from the other. It’s made up of one choice, one step, one feeling at a time and being patient if those movements take a little while.

I am capable of miracles. I am capable of magic.

…and blinking, I step closer to the light.

Image and Sculpture by Paige Bradley

food, Uncategorized

Which is Sweeter?

October 31, 2011

“Drugs that are abused by only a few (such as heroin) get outlawed, while drugs that are abused by everyone (such as caffeine and sugar) receive legal immunity. It’s mob rule. And the mob is addicted to sugar.” – Mike Adams (NaturalNews.com)

ice cream statue bath web

I don’t talk about food on here very much because although it is a real interest of mine, I am not a nutritionist or a chef and there are plenty of those people writing blogs. But I have been on a food adventure for the past couple of months and I really wanted to share it with you – because it has been life changing. I promise that this has not and will not become a food blog!

Three years ago I was diagnosed with Celiac (Coeliac) Disease, and after both of us eating gluten-free for three weeks and then going to a friend’s for pizza and beer we discovered the hard way that my husband also couldn’t eat gluten.

Cutting something as pervasive as gluten out of your diet requires constant attention. I read every single label and question every single waiter, so I was well prepared for my latest adventure: cutting out sugar for three months. I decided to try it out because Kris Carr and Dr. Mark Hyman both talked me into it, and the best part about changing your diet is that if it doesn’t work, you can easily change it back.

It’s not easy. It’s actually easier to cut out gluten than it is to cut out sugar. Gluten-free is gluten-free and that is all there is to it. Sugar-free gives manufacturers license to put in all kinds of other crap. Yes, I said crap. Sweeteners, while being lovely and sweet, still make me and my body want sugar. So I skipped the question of what is and isn’t a healthy sweetener and I cut out the lot. I mean no maple syrup or honey or aspartame (the devil) or even stevia. I wanted to stop my body from wanting sugar so why would I eat that stuff and give my mouth mixed signals?

Hard? Yes.

Worth it? Absolutely.

Within a month I lost 17lbs without even trying. Now I am not being smug because I didn’t get all virtuous over night. I did largely replace sugar with salt, but still the weight fell off.

The eczema which has always plagued my hands? Gone in the first three days.

Weirdly, where my eyebrows had been sparse before, they grew in.

But the very best part of all is the way that my mind and body feel. I feel like I have stepped off of the crazy train. I feel stronger, clearer, healthier, saner, and more rational. I can stand back from the dessert menu and know that I will feel sick and fuzzy and tired if I eat anything on it. I have been so much more productive and steady and focused that I feel like a different person. I feel like I have my power back.

So the question is which is sweeter: a mouthful of something with sugar in it or the feeling of having a clear, powerful head on my shoulders?

Easy. I choose me.

“…get off the sugar and save your brain.” – Dr. Mark Hyman The Ultramind Solution

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