“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.” – Martha Graham
Dear Ms. Graham,
Quickening is bloody uncomfortable. My body is full of equal parts excitement, terror and motion sickness. My tried-and-true neural pathways are disagreeing with you and reading this feeling as fear rather than vitality.
“Eat!” My ego is screaming.
“Self Medicate!”
“You can’t handle this. It is too big. Food will numb you. Grab a spoon and eat Nutella straight out of the jar. Don’t even move away from the open cupboard door. The faster you can get it in the sooner this feeling of terror/ possibility will pass.”
“Who are you to think about getting bigger?”
“Who are you to think about being capable of more?”
“The way things are is easier.”
“Why does it matter anyway? You aren’t special. What you have to say doesn’t matter.”
“Tomorrow is soon enough. There is plenty of time to do it then.”
“Go ahead, watch that re-run. You’re tired. You’ve earned a rest.”
But there is another tiny voice there that has been getting stronger and stronger. It wants me to listen to the quickening. It wants me to ride the feeling through to the end. It is telling me that I can handle it. In fact, it thinks I have the potential to Rock It.
“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.” – Martha Graham
Dear Ms. Graham,
I hear you, and I will.
love megg.
ox
