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Alignment, I AM, Mango Season, Place

On the Origins of Mango Season

November 20, 2014

The “hows” are the domain of the Universe. It always knows the shortest, quickest, fastest, most harmonious way between you and your dream. – Mike Dooley

 

costaricameghangengeTwo years ago, Mark and I were on holiday on the island of St. Vincent, and I was moaning about the lack of local fruit available. We could have strawberries and blueberries and apples – apples?! – but there wasn’t very much tropical fruit. Apparently the bulk of their customers wanted fruit that they knew. So rather than fill the buffet with local fruit, the company would ship fruit in from Mexico and the US.

Desperate for local fruit, I asked one of the locals where I could get some mangoes. She explained to me that while there was lots of other fruit available (which I quickly found and ate embarrassingly large amounts of) the mangoes weren’t currently in season. Thinking about mango season made her grin wickedly. She said that when mangoes are in season, they are everywhere! You can walk along the road and just pick them off of the tree.

She said that once she ate so many mangoes that she got Mango Boils.

I have never forgotten that smile and that image of unlimited, ripe, juicy, dripping, golden fruit.

It feels like abundance to me.

If I know one thing for sure it’s that we cannot dream big enough for ourselves. So when I think about what I want my life in Costa Rica to look like, I am deliberately casting my net wide. I will not be working with the hows. We are taking the leap and then following our hearts, because I know what I do want.

I want Mango Season.*

* We have invited as many people to stay as we have beds, and they have all come for rest and retreat and collaboration and community. They are all people whose art – whatever form it is – enchants or interests us, and the mixture is eclectic and delightful. The mornings begin with breakfast on the deck, Costa Rican coffee, and never-ending bowls of fruit. The days are filled with creativity and camaraderie and solitude and waterfalls and whale watching on the beach. The evenings begin around our enormous dinner table which is overflowing with delicious, local, seasonal food. The food and the wine and the laughter and the real, honest, open discussion flow through into the night. Everyone feels rich and juicy and replenished and abundant and connected. And sitting there, in the glow of lantern and candle light I know that I am exactly where I dreamed myself to be.

Mango Boils and all.

xo

Leap and the net will appear

The one where I quit my job, buy a ticket, and turn 40.

October 27, 2014
Dominical sarongs

“Imagine a new story for your life and start living it.” – Paulo Coehlo

 

FlightsConfirmedTwo weeks ago I quit my job. Two days ago I turned 40. Yesterday we bought two tickets to Costa Rica. We leave in March.

Two years ago we were both really struggling. We were struggling with the fact that we both feel like aliens most of the time. We were struggling with the fact that life does not give any guarantees on length, and that the happiest we feel is when we are exploring somewhere together, but we only get to do that for a few weeks a year. We were struggling with the fact that those few weeks off limits the time we can spend with the people we love. We were struggling with the fact that – on paper – we have a nearly perfect life, but we both felt like it wasn’t our life.

One day I hit maximum capacity, and for me, the only cure for that is a walk in the woods. I took my troubles to the trees and had what I have started calling a ‘Come to Jesus’ meeting. I walked and talked – out loud – to God, the trees, the angels, my guides, my ancestors, anyone, really, who might be there and able to help. The land I was walking on is the land where my Grandmother was born (more on that another time) and it takes about an hour to walk its longest trail. So I walked and I talked, and eventually the conversation became calmer and more focused. I went from desperate gulping words to a kind-of feeling/breathing. It all boiled down to one thing: I needed help. Any help.

I didn’t get an answer, but I came home feeling peaceful and connected.

Ten minutes later I sat in our office, talking with my husband about what we could do. He laughingly said, “Just look up retreats for sale in the Caribbean.”

ha ha.

Turns out God uses Google.

I typed it in and got a whole website. I laughingly read out the names: “Dominican Republic, Barbados, Costa Rica.”

I stopped.

We looked at each other.

I haven’t really looked at any news reports for that day, but I am sure I would find an unidentified seismic blip.

The YES that hit both of us was quiet, calm, but powerful.  The yes that hit both of us, was the hell yes of: of course that is what we are going to do.

And then life happened. His Father died. We talked ourselves out of it. We agreed that it was crazy. We shelved it. We got on with more practical plans. But it never went away.

So last October as I was at the first Redfox retreat, he went to Costa Rica. (Because moving somewhere neither of you have ever been IS crazy… right?)

On the third night of the retreat, on the day before our wedding anniversary, we finally got to talk to each other.

I said that leading retreats and working with inspiring people felt like home.

He said that Costa Rica felt like home.

So there, in a corridor in a manor house in England and a pub in a jungle in Costa Rica, separated by thousands of miles, we both knew.

Another hell yes.

So we’re going.

Bought the tickets yesterday.

 

xo

Heart & Hearth, sacred

Heart and Hearth

October 24, 2014

Groups run by women are our psychic turf; our place to discover who we are, or who we could become, as whole  independent beings. Somewhere in our lives, each of us needs a free place. A little psychic territory. Do you have yours? – Gloria Steinem ~ Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions

 

This year has taught me about the true power of intention. Not – ‘I want a red bicycle’ from The Secret – intention, but pure ‘this is how I want to feel’ intention.

A little over a year ago, I stood beside the fire at our first Redfox retreat. I had spent the days before marvelling at how much of our intention that the retreat be nourishing and nurturing had come true. I also knew as deep in my bones as knowing goes, that I was where I was supposed to be. Retreats. Women’s circles. Gatherings. My soul was singing to me as clear as could be.

But then I got scared. Really scared. Sometimes when you see the power of an intention coming true – when you prove to yourself that magic is real – then the safest thing to do is run as fast as you can back to your smallness. My Big Dream was way too big and scary for me to believe in.

But as I stood beside the fire and watched the faces of the other women, I stepped forward and called in movement. I called in deep, real change. (More on the outcome of that next week!) And I felt a shock of energy hit me. The power of real, honest intention held by a circle of women was actually electric. I remember looking across the circle of light and catching Sas‘ eye and feeling so rooted in the magic of intention and friendship, I wished every women could know – as I knew in that moment – that they are more powerful than they can possibly imagine.

But it all started with intention and a circle of women. 

So a few weeks ago when Sas and I were talking late one night about dreams and the sacred and magic, we conjured another circle. We wanted more women to feel what we felt as we circled together. We wanted to bring together some of the most heart-full women we could be brave enough to ask, and have them join us by the fire. We wanted to bring light and peace to the time before the holidays. We wanted to give women a series of precious gifts that they could open again and again, whenever they needed to – with absolutely nothing to do in return. We wanted to bring the sacred back to a time when pulling off the perfect Christmas seems to be more important than the return of the light.

And with that intention, Heart and Hearth was born. And amazing women from all over the world said yes, they would love to participate. And incredible women all over the world are signing up to join us. I hope you will too.

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