“These places of possibility within ourselves are dark because they are ancient and hidden; they have survived and grown strong through darkness. Within these deep places, each one of us holds an incredible reserve of creativity and power, of unexamined and unrecorded emotion and feeling. The woman’s place of power within each of us is neither white nor surface; it is dark, it is ancient, and it is deep.” – Audre Lorde
Have you met yours yet?
xo
The powerful shifts of 2012 began this morning before I had even gotten out of my pyjamas.
My cells feel scrambled and the world looks different than it did 20 minutes ago.
I started the day listening to the last Circe’s Tribe call recording. In the opening meditation, Jamie had us visualise something that included a colour and an emotion associated with it. The colour that I saw was pink, and when she said emotion, I thought that I felt panic. I have been feeling that feeling off an on for a few months now and I have been swallowing that feeling down, giving myself heartache in the process.
I almost stopped listening, but then a question came into my head: “Is that actually panic that I am feeling? Is it really fear or could it be another energy? Could it be power? Excitement? Passion? The colour was pink after all?!”
The question stopped me cold. In that moment I realised that I have the same reaction to all of the great big strong emotions. Afraid of their bigness, I call them all the same thing: fear. Being afraid of them meant that I stopped knowing what they really were.
That realisation brought on the most incredible feeling of expansion.
Then anxiousness.
Then excitement.
Big excitement.
And then I wrote this in my journal:
I commit to meeting my emotions, naming and allowing them; letting them be as big as they need to be and expanding myself so that I am big enough and brave enough to hold them.”
There’s that feeling again, but I am going to walk over and meet it face-to-face.
yes.
