Retreat happened this weekend; re-entry is happening now. What can you say after spending three days with a group of irreverent, sacred, sassy, gentle, fierce, wise, silly, gorgeous, talented, creative, sensitive, remarkable women?
Sas, Penny, Susannah, Lisa, Emma, Leonie, Jo (and the Fox):
Thank you –
For being you.
For seeing me.
For nourishment.
For laughter.
For everything.
RrrOoooooAAaaaaRRrrrrrr.
😉
xo
Dear Ms. Graham,
Quickening is bloody uncomfortable. My body is full of equal parts excitement, terror and motion sickness. My tried-and-true neural pathways are disagreeing with you and reading this feeling as fear rather than vitality.
“Eat!” My ego is screaming.
“Self Medicate!”
“You can’t handle this. It is too big. Food will numb you. Grab a spoon and eat Nutella straight out of the jar. Don’t even move away from the open cupboard door. The faster you can get it in the sooner this feeling of terror/ possibility will pass.”
“Who are you to think about getting bigger?”
“Who are you to think about being capable of more?”
“The way things are is easier.”
“Why does it matter anyway? You aren’t special. What you have to say doesn’t matter.”
“Tomorrow is soon enough. There is plenty of time to do it then.”
“Go ahead, watch that re-run. You’re tired. You’ve earned a rest.”
But there is another tiny voice there that has been getting stronger and stronger. It wants me to listen to the quickening. It wants me to ride the feeling through to the end. It is telling me that I can handle it. In fact, it thinks I have the potential to Rock It.
“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.” – Martha Graham
Dear Ms. Graham,
I hear you, and I will.
love megg.
ox
I need to warn you that this post is going to be more traditionally spiritual than normal. Although I have been working with the sacred for years now, I have kept away from talking about religion and God partly because some of the blogs that I have read that discuss their views on religion have put me way off reading them again, partly because it was really UNcool to talk about God when I was younger and that is a hard habit to break, and partly because I am still working on what I believe.
But paying attention has its benefits and lately the whispers to my soul have been focusing on prayer. I, of course, have been largely ignoring them, but while poking through Google Reader today, I read Danielle’s latest post and her words felt like they had disco glitter on top and a hallelujah chorus behind them:
“I feel like I am in a constant state of prayer.”
Now that makes sense to me. That feels holy and real and right and just a little dangerous. That is a practice I can get behind. Prayer as a conversation; as constant as breathing and as close as gratitude. Sacred as everyday. By holding space for prayer, we take space away from fear.
And who wants to sit beside fear?
In Your Sacred Self Wayne Dyer writes: “Keep uppermost in your mind that there is a place within you where there is perfect peace and where nothing is impossible. If you give yourself the right to pray regularly, you will get to that place. Peace is yours for the asking.”
Beginning now –
deep breath.
gratitude.
yes.
xo
