“…be confident enough to say, ‘This is what I believe in. This is what I like. This is my soul, exposed.” – Geraldine James Creative Walls
I am lucky enough to have a commute that consists of a 10 minute walk in the country. Up until this week I always took the same route because I thought it was quicker. Well, the crazy train threatened to stop at my station this week and I was desperate not to fall into old patterns of woe and angst so I decided to shake things up. Four mornings ago I turned right instead of left and walked a different way through the woods.
On day one I noticed a lone deer standing underneath a tree. I noticed, I whispered hello, but I kept on going: earphones in, walk determined, and focus clearly pointed ahead. Heavy things were weighing on my mind and I was afraid to be late for work.
On day two as I turned down the last path through a bit of woods, I startled a deer. It ran across the path in front of me and away through the trees. I looked up from the path and watched it go, and then hurried on to work.
Yesterday – the day before the crazy train was due to arrive – feeling a bit disconnected and nervous, I sat still in the morning and asked for some help to get through the next couple of days. Then I put a podcast on my ipod and walked to work. I have no idea why, but for some reason about half way there, I stopped in my tracks. It was like I had been halted. Looking up I realized that not 5 feet away from me stood two deer – a male and a female – standing and staring right back at me. The next thing I heard was the voice on the ipod say, “NOW do I have your attention?” I laughed out loud, but the deer didn’t move. They just stood there and watched me right back until I finally went on my way.
I was filled up with the knowledge that I was not alone and that everything was going to be okay – whatever happened. Ted Andrews says that the original meaning of deer is ‘wild animal.’ He also says that: “When deer show up there is an opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you.” Crazy train averted.
Lessons, it seems, are repeated until you get them.
When I was a teen-ager I decided I wanted to do yoga. Typically, rather than go to a class I read a book about it. The book I chose told me all about the diet and the philosophy and it freaked me out. Be a vegetarian? Meditate? At 16? You might as well have asked me to go to Mars. What would people think?
